How to Get “The Best Job in the World”

40_lrgToday marks the final day of a worldwide job search conducted by the Queensland Tourism Authority in Australia. This thinly disguised viral marketing effect is already a success even though the winner hasn’t yet been chosen. Let’s see what’s at stake and why this is being called “The Best Job in the World.”

If you’re one of the 23,000 people who submitted an application, congratulations! You have a better chance of spending six months on a beach in Australia than the average lottery player. However, the thousands of applicants who are not chosen for this job will likely just continue their regular existence—an existence now slightly marred by wishing they were the lucky one enjoying the sun and water while blogging about their wonderful new life.

That got me to thinking. I’m about to start the best job in the world myself. Sun…check! Water…check! Nothing important to do for months…check! Blogging about the good life…check!

I’m talking about our upcoming Mississippi Float trip of course. The inflatable kayak will take the place of an Australian beach house and the mighty Mississippi will have to suffice instead of the great barrier reef. Okay, so it’s not exactly as luxurious but now the whole venture is in my control. I’m not anxiously waiting to see if I have been chosen out of the thousands of other applicants. It’s here. It’s now. It’s going to happen.

The best part about this revelation is that YOU can do it too. Out of work? Bored with life? Wanna see America? Get a boat and spend a few months on the river. We’re not the first to have made such a trip, and there’s plenty room for all the adventurous souls out there. You just have to decide to if you want to follow along by boat, or follow along by just reading this blog. “The Best Job in the World” only lasts six months, but a life of adventure never ends.

Dilbert Goes Hitchhiking

Strip 1

Strip 2

Strip 3

I don’t blame Scott Adams for his negative portrayal of hitchhiking in a recent series of Dilbert strips. After all, he’s a supporter of the growing rideshare movement and the joke wouldn’t work without the reference to hitchhiking. However, when presented in this manner it keeps reinforcing the idea of hitchhiking as inherently being dangerous. We know better. But public opinion (be it true or false) creates the reality. Our work may help to reverse this reality in the future.

Ethos, Logos, Pathos and the Quest for Tiger’s Milk Bars

Your Newest Superhero
Your Newest Superhero

Ethos – similar to the word ethics – is an ancient Greek word meaning character. Logos – as in logic – means word, and pathos – pathological, empathy, sociopath – means feeling or suffering. Ethos, logos and pathos are often used as elements in both literary works and persuasive arguments. Advertisers use these elements all the time to influence us. Por ejemplo…


Advertisers will try amp up your belief in their character or trustworthiness with phrases such as “the name you can trust” or “5 out of 6 people prefer Astrolube to…” As you know, they constantly attempt to remind us they are a company in good standing: “For over forty years Astrolube…” I guess I really like Astrolube. The idea is if I trust you or at least can believe that you are telling me the truth, I will be inclined to buy your product. However, oftentimes belief in the salesperson is not enough, you also need…


Pathos refers to pure, straight emotion. Advertisers try to associate positive emotions to their product whether that means indicating P Diddy drinks it (the exact reason I do not drink Ciroc – still pathos) or blasting roaring images of a roller coaster to convince you to visit Six Flags. Karl Rove used pathos effectively with the social-issue-wary, Republican party base to get George Bush elected in 2000. He sent out mailers about stem cell research, abortion, and gays to get every backwoods hick in the country to get out and vote for GW. Thank god he did too! Whew! No more gays! Now the country can move forward. Pathos involves appeals to passions, not logic. Sorry to break it to you, hickzoids, if we get rid of the gays, your problems are not going to be solved. No, no, if we get rid of the Mexicans, your problems will not be solved either. Go back to your corncob pipe and weed-growing business. Douche.


Logos treats appeals to logic, our rationality. “Look, Jim, you could stay home tonight and play Play Station and dream about women, or you could come out with me to the bar and have a real shot at getting an actual woman.” However, please note that logic must be based on correct assumptions: All women in bars are sluts. I am a slut. Therefore, I am a woman in a bar. Errrrr, where did my logic go wrong?

Whatchu telling me this for, Ryan?

Currently I am writing persuasive letters with the intention of obtaining sponsorship for our upcoming float down the Mississippi. I do not know how effective these letters will be. I did write one that was moderately successful with Sea Eagle (we have their banner on our site), but I found out some interesting things about this persuasion triple header while doing an exercise I found in an email from Michael Neill. He said that when writing a persuasive letter, you can write three versions: one with a focus on ethos, one with a focus on pathos, and one on logos. Then you write the real letter. I found my versions pretty funny, esp. the pathos one, and wanted to share them with you. Enjoy.


First let me say that your Tiger’s Milk Bars have played an important role in my life. I was raised on them. My mother was a health food fanatic during my entire infancy, childhood and adolescence. I actually did not know what a Snickers bar was until about the age of 6. I am writing you today to ask for an endorsement, either in cash or in product, for an upcoming event of which my company and I will be a part.

We are a film company. We specialize in adventure films aimed at creating a sense of wonder, joy and awe in the audience. To watch a trailer of our latest feature please visit Our company’s name is 11 Visions. We are a new company and started out of a love of adventure, exploration and filmmaking. Please allow me to state clearly how you may help us and how we might help you.

We have two upcoming films: Two Miles an Hour: Life at the Speed of the Mississippi and The Channel. Two Miles an Hour is a documentary cataloguing our float down the entire length of the Mississippi River. We will be embarking on this journey in May of this year and expect to complete the trip within three months. Nutrition will be of vital importance while on the River especially since we will not be using any machinery to propel us forward but will be paddling in kayaks. I’m sure you can appreciate the physical demands this will place on us day in and day out. The Channel is a documentary slated to premiere in August of 2010. This film will document my journey from beginner to skilled swimmer as I prepare for my solo crossing of the English Channel in July of 2010. I will be training for this crossing in the River and, needless to say, will be burning a tremendous amount of calories. The quality of my nutrition is of paramount importance, and we are searching for a company willing to donate both product, and if willing, cash to the endeavor.

I believe in your company. You were the first company I envisioned when I turned to my partner and stated, “We need to take tons of nutrition bars with us on the River!” (little bit of pathos, sorry) Due to the fact that I believe wholeheartedly in your product and the fact that you played such an important role in my raising and healthy state as a child, I would like you to be the first ones we have the pleasure of asking for sponsorship. We can offer you banner ads on our sites, embedded marketing of your product in our real-time web videos that will be aired as we travel down the Mississippi, and featured product placement in our feature film which will premiere August of this year. We would also like to offer you a free ad at the beginning of said film.

Kayaking and swimming will place tremendous demands on my partner’s and my body, and with nutritional supplementation by Tiger’s Milk, we stand a good chance to succeed.

Please consider this opportunity; I would sincerely appreciate a reply.


Ryan Jeanes


Dear Sirs,

First let me say that your Tiger’s Milk Bars are the bomb. My mom raised me on this shit! It’s fucking great! I love you guys and I hope you love me! Here’s the deal. I will be swimming down the motherfucking Mississippi River. Oh my fucking god, you’ve gotta check this out. Okay so my friend and I are crazy mofos and I want to say how good your bars taste. They are fucking great. My mom wouldn’t even let me eat a Snickers bar for like fucking ever! So anyway I want you guys to give us some cash, yo!

Here’s why: I am going to be making two films. One is called Two Miles an Hour: Life at the Speed of the Mississippi and the other fucking great movie that you’re gonna love if you have a nutsack is called The Channel. In the Channel one, I swim the English Channel and in the Mississippi one, I swim the Mississippi. My friend’s gonna be on a raft so don’t worry, I won’t drown or nothing : )))))). Yeah! So anyways I was wondering if you would like to be our sponsors. Check this shit out: You will be able to put a big fat motherfucking banner right on our site. It will say that Tiger’s Milk is the best motherfucking sponsor in the world. It will say that you guys support what we’re doing: adventure and shit. It will say that “hey I’m a crazy mofo who likes to sponsor shit and give away shit and we’re giving shit to these guys cuz they’re crazy mofos too! Crazy, yes, no?

So look. You guys will be able to advertise on our site. You will be able to have your product embedded in our web videos, our movie, etc. etc. It’ll be fucking great. All I want in return is some mooooolah. If you can’t do mooooolah, than hook me up with some motherfucking bars so I can munch on them and not starve to death. This is so fudgeing exciting! I’m pissing my pants!

You guys need to totally sponsor us. Tiger’s Milk will be embedded into the minds of the nation. Our goal is to sell 10,000 of these hitchhiking motherfuckers, these movies, so like get on board and don’t miss the boat – pun motherfucking intended, dog!

I want you to sponsor us, you beautiful, gorgeous motherfuckers. I want you to be our sponsor because it would be fucking great and you won’t regret it.


Ryan Jeanes, DogMasterChief in Chief


Dear sirs,

Thank you for taking the time to review my letter. I am writing you today to offer you a business opportunity. We have a website dedicated to the sale of travel/adventure related films. Though our sales are low at the moment, we are projecting increased sales over the coming months as our new release The Hitchhiking Movie gains momentum. We have several promotions in place, most notably a partnering with the site, which has over 14,000 registered members, an excellent market for the purchase of said film.

We believe that Tiger’s Milk has an opportunity to reach and market to a similar quantity of viewers in our next feature: Two Miles an Hour: Life at the Speed of the Mississippi. Nutrition and the vital role it plays in the completion of difficult and highly physical endeavors will be the centerpiece of this film. We are aiming to give an honored and trusted nutrition company such as yours the chance to market to likeminded individuals (such as our film and website viewers) interested in the themes of training, travel, endurance and adventure. We believe that an entirely new and exciting demographic will be open to you if you pursue an agreement with us.

Our adventure down the Mississippi begins in May. We hope to strike a mutually beneficial agreement with a nutrition bar company by that time. Also, our upcoming feature, The Channel, has generated substantial buzz and we believe that its appeal to nutrition minded individuals will be even greater than Two Miles an Hour. This film will catalogue the training for my unassisted swim of the English Channel in July of 2010. I will continue to train during the while on the river, increasing not only interest but also supporting the philosophy that any athlete can train anytime, anywhere. We know that Tiger’s Milk believes in keeping athletes and laypeople alike healthy and strong, which is why we are confident a successful partnership with your business may be possible. The popularity of our site grows more and more every day as more and more people are hooked on our entertaining posts, videos, and featured films. We hope to make Tiger’s Milk the official Nutrition Bar Sponsor of Two Miles an Hour and The Channel. We are extremely excited about this opportunity and hope the prospect of your business reaching more and more potential buyers of your products is equally exciting.

We are asking specifically for cash sponsorship as well as a large supply of Tiger’s Milk Bars during the Mississippi float. I estimate that between two people, we will average as much as 6 bars a day. The maximum length of this trip will be 3 months; therefore, if you are able to provide us with 540 bars, it would be much appreciated. We also believe a cash sponsorship of 100 dollars per month is sufficient to cover promotion-related costs such as embedding your bars into our web films (we estimate as many as 50 short films to be posted before, during and after our trip, on our parent site; Tiger’s Milk may have access to as many as one-third of those films either via choice product placement or direct advertising). In return, we will also offer you banner ad access to our viewers, direct video promotions (you may also run a commercial on our site if you wish, and we will film it if you wish for no charge), continual mention and consumption on camera of Tiger’s Milk Bars on both web-based video and subsequent DVDs, and 3 separate live promotions in which we explicitly and enthusiastically endorse Tiger’s Milk Bars as the only bar we trust, in the place and at the time of your choosing.

Once again, we anticipate a high level of interest in this trip, and please understand that our live blogging, real time web videos, and live promotions with chosen sponsors during that time will only add to the excitement, increasing the prospect for greater sales of Tiger’s Milk products. Please note that, in addition, each and every day we will be augmenting the size of our viewing audience as our current feature The Hitchhiking Movie tours film festivals around the world.

We believe Tiger’s Milk’s newfound access to a younger, perhaps hipper, and more adventure minded demographic will increase the size of your business and contribute to Tiger’s Milk’s popularity all over the world. We believe that you are the perfect candidate for sponsorship and hope to hear from you soon.


Ryan Jeanes

Und das ist alles, meinen friends

I decided to go with just the logos one. I know the exercise was to combine them all into one synergistic explosion of persuasive punching power, but fuck it (pathos!). Pathos strikes again! Wait a minute – that’d make a great superhero! Yes, I did the animation you see at the beginning after typing that sentence. He was a Hebrew superhero on Wiki Commons that I11 Visions › Edit Post — WordPress converted into The Champion of Emotionally Persuasive Arguments, Pathos!!!!!!

PS – When writing sponsors, I’m going to use logos as our backbone and maybe throw a little pathos in there for flair. (No, I’m not going to use the Fs and the MFs, that was just an exercise to get my juices flowing.) Then I can insert ethos when it feels natural. We will keep you posted on what happens with sponsors.  PAAAAAAATHHOOOOOOOOSSS!


Update (3/02/09): As you can see heah, we did in fact get the boats from Sea Eagle.  Thanks John!  Persuasive articles do work.  However let me point out something for those of you wishing to do something similar.  Voici I will break down how this came about:  1st, I wrote Sea Eagle and told them what I wanted to do.  I go the decision maker on the first try.  Sea eagle is a family owned and operated company so it was easier to maneuvre.  2nd, the main dude said he would like to give us some boats, but indicated he wanted to see our Hitchhiking Movie first.  Now that I think about it, we chatted about hitchhiking first.  He was drawn to our site and my email possibly since he’d done some hitchhiking.  3rd, he didn’t commit to sending the boats until after he had seen the movie.  Very important:  It wasn’t just the persuasive letter.  There was the pathos with the direct connection we had.  I also talked to him about Phillip’s positive experiences with his Sea Eagle kayak.  There was logos with what I was proposing – he got that he’d use our footage and such and that we’d promote the kayak.  But he didn’t commit to sending the kayaks until he got the ethos in check.  The ethos was seeing the movie.  Once he saw that, he knew it wasn’t a couple of tools writing for free kayaks.  We continue to build ethos by continuing to promote his kayaks and implementing them into our films.  I am going to apply this technique with Gregory Packs.  I really want Phil to get one, they’re the bomb.  I had a personal relationship with the low level sales guy.  He said he’d forward my email to the Marketing Director, but no response from him.  I’m a nobody, see?  So the in is going to have to be sending the movie off to the low level guy, he sees it, likes it, and hopefully talks me up to Marketing Master Dog in Chief, and we’re in.  You see, there are many factors here.  The whole combination has to be present or your toast.  It’s like the building blocks have to be in place before the person commits.  Please use this info when you’re asking for anything.  Everyone wants to tell you yes; they just need that right combo of ethos, pathos, and logos spun.


Adventure Movie to Feature Float Down Entire Mississippi River

Nashville, TN — February 16, 2009 — Their first film cataloged their attempt to hitchhike coast to coast, across the entire continental United States in under a week.  For their second adventure, they will cross the country again; only this time, it will be top to bottom.  “We’re gonna start in Minnesota and go all the way to the Gulf of Mexico,” Phillip Hullquist, co-creator of Eleven Visions says.  “We’ll go from black bears in the north to gators in the south.  Should be fun.”  “And no thumbing rides this time,” adds Ryan Jeanes, second creator of the production company which focuses on adventure films.  “We’re going to have to do all the work this time… paddling!  We hitchhiked across the U.S. in a week, but this is going to take us muuuuuuch longer.”

The filmmaking pair expects the voyage via inflatable kayak to take between 2 1/2 and 3 months.  As in their first feature, they will focus as much on the people they meet along the way as the obstacles they need to overcome to complete the journey.  “Our first film was a real eye-opener,” Jeanes says.  “We thought people would be really hyped on our attempt to finish the journey to Los Angeles from New York, but a lot of people commented on the people we interviewed.  They would say things like, ‘Oh, that psychiatrist guy was my favorite guy,’ or, “Oh, I wish I could have learned more about Fred; he was awesome!’  So we are definitely going to incorporate those types of exchanges when we’re on the river.”

Jeanes and Hullquist answer the claims that they are addicted to adventure.  “I don’t know if we’re addicted,” Jeanes explains, “but our films do tend to be about things people would love to do but are letting some reason, real or imaginary, hold them back.  Our movies are about facing fear to a certain extent, but really are more about doing the things your heart wants to do before your mind talks you out of it.”  “A lot of people poo-pooed our hitchhiking idea, but we’re not getting a lot of that this time,” Hullquist explains.  “I guess when you successfully complete one adventure, people expect that you’ll complete the second.  What a lot of people don’t know is that only 2 to 3 people paddle the entire river each year!  That’s less than the number of people who hike the Appalachian Trail or who swim the English Channel.  We’re ready.  Bring it on.”

The title, The River is Life, is a play on Jack Kerouac’s famous phrase, “The road is life.”  “We want to capture a piece of Americana,” Jeanes states.  “We’ll go through 11 states on this trip – from the Upper Midwest to the Deep South.  We’ll be interviewing scores of people from all walks of life.  The people we meet always add an invaluable dimension to our movies.”

What about the amount of effort it will take to paddle 2500 miles!  “It’s going to be hard work,” says Hullquist.  You have to pay attention at all times to avoid barges, pleasure boaters, changes in current, wildlife, and sometimes waterfalls (in Minnesota) and rapids (around St. Louis).  I hope we can complete the journey in 2 and a half months and get the movie out to our fans by January 2010.”

Phillip and Ryan plan to be on the River the first day of summer, June 21, 2009.  For more information visit their website at or email

Is 11 Visions Only about Travel?

11 Visions is not just about travel, though we tend to travel a lot. It is about mystery and wonder, the weird and the fanciful. We love exploration. And oftentimes that gets us into some singularly peculiar situations like that time we wound up inside a cow’s intestine… Lies, my friend, lies. However, we did end up smoking a prayer pipe with an Indian, and we did hitch a ride with a hot girl who ended up driving 45 miles to deliver us bananas, and we did get nearly arrested four or five times in four or five different states (and one international airport)… Don’t forget the time we found ourselves walking through the rain on Route 66 where a shirtless man, skinny as a rail, riding a kid’s bike rode into his house to fetch us ponchos. I then had a black man tell me he wanted me to pay him back by helping another black person. And I had money and food and shelter show up mysteriously where I needed it when I needed it.

Life is a mystery, my friends (Lord, did I not sound like John McCain there!). Uhhhhhh, look (oh that’s better, just like Obama), I want to tell you that there are 11 known dimensions to this universe, and you have yet to see them all. We all have yet to see them all. Our vision is that all you wish to see shall be laid before you like the unfolding desert at dawn. Step to the top of that building and gaze. Stick your thumb out; someone will stop. Travel is not the only way to experience and perhaps make love to the best in this world. In fact, I know it’s not. Say hello to a stranger (that’s a vision), kayak down the Mississippi (that’s a vision), learn a language (that’s a vision), beat time on your child’s head with a mud-caked hand as he latches onto your leg and begs you to walk him. This world is real. You are in it now. Yes, you. This is all here for you. Please grab it now. We support you in your travels, in your amours, and your ambitions. All of it is an adventure; all of it is a vision. Leap, love and explore. We are and we hope you do too. : )>

New Production Company Brings the Adventure Home

Nashville, TN — February 8, 2009 — 11 Visions was started on a simple premise:  People love wild, crazy adventures!  And if they don’t have the inclination to go on one themselves at the moment, they sure love to watch one.  Enter 11 Visions Productions.  11 Visions was created by filmmaker Phillip Hullquist and actor Ryan Jeanes.  “I met Phillip in South Padre Island, Texas,” Jeanes says, “and I was telling him about the time I hitchhiked across Texas and then England and France when he goes, ‘Yeah, I hitchhiked from Little Rock to Los Angeles.’  I said, ‘Woah, another crazy… thought I was the only one!”  Shortly after Jeanes pitched Hullquist an idea for a new movie.  “Phillip was just so open to anything I discussed with him,” Jeanes continues.  “I said, ‘Hey, I want you to follow me around with a camera as I try to hitchhike across the U.S. in a week.’  He was like, ‘Okay.’  So I bought two plane tickets going to New York from my hometown in Austin, TX and coming back one week later from Los Angeles.  Our goal was to hitchhike from New York to L.A. in 7 days and make a movie out of it… and we did.”

The Hitchhiking Movie was the filmmaking pair’s first collaboration.  “I’d never done anything of that magnitude,” Phillip says.  “I had worked steadily as a director and editor on smaller projects, but this was totally different.  It was fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants filmmaking.  We had no idea who was going to pick us up or where, we had no idea where we’d be dropped off; so, choosing shots was challenging; but, I can say that The Hitchhiking Movie is an accurate representation of what a real life hitchhiking adventure is like.”  To find out more about The Hitchhiking Movie go to

Jeanes, who worked as an actor in the Texas market for four years, is comfortable in front of the camera.  “I did a lot of commercials in Dallas and San Antonio, and I did live theater.  Hosting an adventure documentary is not something I had experience with, but I thought I was a pretty experienced world-traveler and I had broad interests.  I knew what I wanted to create, and the finished product was better than I expected.  So right now we’ve got even more wild, crazy adventure coming your way.”

Their newest project tentatively titled The River is Life – a play on on Jack Keroac’s famous phrase, “The road is life.”  The film will chronicle their journey down America’s greatest river, The Mighty Mississippi.  “We’re going to take two kayaks down the entire length, 2252 miles,” Hullquist says.  “We don’t have a deadline this time [like we did in The Hitchhiking Movie],” Jeanes notes.  “This film will be more about the majesty of the river and the sheer adventurousness of going down North America’s greatest river.”  “It should take us 2 and a half months,” Hullquist adds.  “Hopefully I’ll have some good upper body development by the end (laughs).”

Jeanes and Hullquist’s movies are as much about the people they meet along the way as their own journey.  “When we released The Hitchhiking Movie I was surprised.  Many people commented on their ‘favorite’ person like, ‘Oh, I loved the Psychiatrist,’ or, ‘oh, I loved Fred.’  They got really attached to the people we interviewed along the way.  We’ll definitely be meeting and interviewing some new characters on the Mississippi River.”

What else is different this time?  “Also,” Phillip continues, “we’ve got a blog up during the entire duration of our Mississippi trip.  We didn’t have that for The Hitchhiking Movie.  Our blog traffic has gone up and so the visibility of our work has gone up.  We hope that the farther we go down the river the more and more interest will be generated.”  You can visit their blog chronicling their current and past adventures at

To say the least, this summer promises to be an adventurous one for the two filmmakers.  They are slated to depart from Lake Itasca, Minnesota at the headwaters of the Mississippi River the first day of Summer, June 21, 2009.

“It’s going to be awesome,” Phillip says.  “I can’t wait!”  “I’m just glad we’ll get to share this with our fans while we’re on the river,” Jeanes adds.  “This time you can be on the river with us as we’re making the movie.”

The River is Life is scheduled for release January of next year.  To find out more about 11 Visions, The Hitchhiking MovieThe River is Life, and new adventures to come, visit