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Article Archive for July 2009

What if…?
July 31, 2009 – 1:03 pm | 7 Comments
What if…?

Up! “What the hell are you talking about Ryan? This is probably the weirdest start to a blog post I’ve seen yet.” Yeah buddy, you got it, I’m weird; it took you …

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Slippery’s When Wet
July 30, 2009 – 12:06 am | 4 Comments
Slippery’s When Wet

OK, so this kayaker walks into a bar and comes out with 67 bucks, a foot massage, Neosporin, a captain’s hat and 789 pounds of goodwill and wellwishes. Waiting for the punchline? There …

And we thought Minnesota was COLD!
July 27, 2009 – 9:11 pm | No Comment
And we thought Minnesota was COLD!

I’m going to share a funny story that took place over the first couple weeks of our paddling trip. After you finish reading it, please take a moment to vote for us at the link …

I Just Got Dumped :(
July 27, 2009 – 12:13 pm | 10 Comments
I Just Got Dumped :(

My boat dumped into the water. Gear went flying, and floating. The bow went completely underwater, and my vessel filled up like a cup of tea. This is the first time this …

The River is Life–Whose story is it anyways?
July 25, 2009 – 10:54 pm | One Comment
The River is Life–Whose story is it anyways?

Every movie tells a story, and each story is interpreted by the person who is telling it. When Ryan and I first discussed making a movie while paddling on the Mississippi River, my mind began …

I Feel So Incredibly Important
July 24, 2009 – 5:48 pm | 5 Comments
I Feel So Incredibly Important

Photo courtesy of Mike Longaecker, probably the most thorough journalist I’ve met on this trip so far.  Kudos to you, Mike!
I am so important.  I mean I’m an important guy.  Newspaper reporters want to know …

Lake Winnie – Rhymes with Witch, Part 1
July 21, 2009 – 9:15 am | 4 Comments
Lake Winnie – Rhymes with Witch, Part 1

“Lake Winnie is a bitch today,” Phillip says.  He shouldn’t say this; no one should.  But everyone does.  Everyone uses swear words, and the people that don’t use them use euphemisms.  Phillip told me that …

My Mom is a Genius
July 20, 2009 – 6:36 pm | One Comment
My Mom is a Genius

You’ve got to read this.  My mom, holy crap, wrote this beautiful expose on the truth behind real religious devotees and the fakers.  Phillip told me one time of the Laodicean Chruch, who (I’m paraphrasing) …

Ryan is Wrong, and Phillip is Gone
July 19, 2009 – 11:39 am | One Comment
Ryan is Wrong, and Phillip is Gone

Ryan has been teasing our readers with brief mentions of our time on two of the large lakes that we crossed early in our Mississippi River journey. These stories are now three weeks old, but …

Ritual Killing or Sail Made out of a Bed Sheet?
July 16, 2009 – 6:24 pm | 16 Comments
Ritual Killing or Sail Made out of a Bed Sheet?

“You never know,” Phil says to me (different Phil), “you could have just paddled into a hot spot of ritual killings.”
“I mean,” he continues, “look at all of us.  We’re like 20, and you’re like …

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