What if…?

ryanunicycleUp! “What the hell are you talking about Ryan? This is probably the weirdest start to a blog post I’ve seen yet.” Yeah buddy, you got it, I’m weird; it took you that long to figure that out??? The name of this game is the What if…up! game. So remember the portly spiritual guide 😉 I told you about in the Slippery’s post? Well I called her. She asked me to. She gave me a free EFT session. It was awesome.

We’re probably talking about one of the coolest people I’ve ever met here, and she shared this game with me that I’m going to share with you…

How to play What if…up!

Most of us play the What if…down¡ game. That is to say, “What if my car doesn’t start tomorrow? What if my kid calls me an asshole (I actually called my step-dad this one; he was so pissed!) What if I go to church tomorrow and they try to convert me? What if I get allergic to cats? What if they cancel Desperate Housewives? (That one would pretty much end Phillip’s world.)” We imagine all the possible negative scenarios that, quite frankly, haven’t happened, probably won’t happen, but boy do we feel like shit thinking about them happening: “What if, what if, WHAT IF, WHAAAT IFFFF (insert bad horrible thing that we don’t want to happen)!!”

Well Jody Hagedorn; trained EFT professional, trained reflexologist, untrained giver of random foot rubs to random river dudes on docks in Wabasha, and all around cool badass; created (borrowed? modified? who cares!) the What if… UP! game:

“What if my boss gives me a raise? What if supermodels descend from the sky and start giving me (I’ll let you fill in the blank here)? What if I make a million dollars doing absolutely nothing (That’s right, nothing! You just sit on your ass and people start bringing you loads of cash! What? Not likely? Well is it really likely that your car won’t start? I mean as long as we’re imagining fanciful scenarios, let’s imagine the ones that are cool!)? What if my kid stops skateboarding and hanging out with the wrong crowd and takes up unicycling (this one is real)? What if I never have an argument with my spouse again? What if my spouse and I have amazing sex!

So what I’d like you to do as a fun aside as I bide my time in La Crosse (Phillip is sending me a part to the air pump I need; I think it’s gonna get here Saturday; what if it doesn’t! What if it gets here tonight served on a silver platter!), is play this What if…UP! game. Just say to yourself, “What if…” and then end the question with the coolest, most outrageous, amazing scenario you can conjure (an up scenario).

I’ll share one before I leave and then I’ll tell you the results: What if a million people donate one million dollars to my blog! What if I get so much money I have to stuff it in sacks like in that movie Blow? What if a bunch of girls invite me over for dinner and beyond foot massages? What if my credit card debt goes away? What if I stop being allergic to cats? What if my mom calls me just to tell me she loves me? What if Chase Bank calls and says, “Look, bud, you don’t owe us anything… Merry Christmas.” What if, what if, WHAT IF!

So play the game yourself and tell us what happens in the comments below. Say how your feelings changed throughout the day. Did you feel better just playing the game? And of course say if you created some amazing things for yourself.

What if Phillip didn’t just send the part I need, but he also sent a wad of cash! Hey, I already made 67 bucks doing nothing. Why not!


Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin

Destination: La Gulf of Mexico

Photo courtesy of Jane Hallock, All-around Nice Person and Awesome Vegetarian Cook Extraordinaire.  That’s me attempting to unicycle.  Thank you to Jane and Tristan and Rick for inviting me to their unicycle practice.  I can sit on it pretty well; now I just gotta ride it!  Stay tuned:  I swear to Holy God I am finishing, as we speak, Lake Winnie, Part Deux.  Aurevoir, Ryan

7 thoughts on “What if…?”

  1. K So I’ve got 200 bucks so far! Ummmmmm, maybe I should write posts like this more often. What if I receive 1000 dollars by the end of the day???? Keep up the game, ya’ll. Post your comments below. I want to know results! Ryan

  2. What if Werner was really cool and gave you new paddles? What if you actually make 1000$? what if you used that money to buy yourself a used plastic boat from craigslist? Or…what if you used that money to buy a couple more dry bags from 3 rivers outdoors while you are in LaCrosse…what if Justin was more of pragmatist…. then what if?

  3. Thanks for the kudos Ryan,and for having a blast playing the WHAT IF game!!! This game was created by 2 women who have a multi-million dollar coaching/marketing biz…go figure! Here’s the thing-we are doing more than nothing, we are actually intending as we what if…that’s the cool thing. It feels like nothing because we are so ‘programmed’ to work harder, longer, get burned out and then think, ‘whew, any less stress than that and I must be lazy”…nahhhhh, old programming. It’s beneficial to call this ‘reflecting’, having fun, etc… Ok, all you WHAT IF’ERS, where are your stories, let’s at least entertain each other with some comments. Happy August to all. Onward Ho Ryan

  4. Ryan/Phillip, how can I find a larger picture of the unicycling? It is not appearing at the top of the blog posting?

  5. Ok, Ryan,
    What if I wasn’t wide awake at 2:32 am on August 18th, writing to you in this comment section because I had a nightmare about struggling to get a door closed with all of my strength against a tornado force wind while Dad was sleeping with a pillow over his head so he wouldn’t hear anything and I couldn’t get any words out of my mouth to yell loudly enough for him to help me? And what if when I woke up out of the nightmarish dream I wasn’t in a panicked state of mind and immediately thinking about you and how I hadn’t heard from you tonight, and wondering where you were and why you hadn’t called me? What if you had a way of always communicating with me regardless of your cell phone (which in muy opinion is inept!)? What if your mother donated to you enough $$ so that you could purchase a piece of equipment that would actually allow you to commuicate whenever you wanted to? What if your mother donated enough money so that you could buy some sort of tracking GPS device that you could keep strapped to you or attached to you in some way? I would be willing to donate enough money to your cause for that specific reason.
    So… what if you listed specific items that you were intending to purchase for your adventures and people could actually donate to help you purchase those specific things?
    I don’t really feel like donating money to you so that you can fly in a bunch of super-models…, but I do feel like donating to you so that you can communicate at all times!
    What if you sent me a telepathic message right now to tell me that you were safe and well? What if you sent me a text message telling me that you were safe and well? What if you could send a message by GPS system showing me your coordinates and also telling me you were safe and well? What if there is a simple solution to the communication gaffe that is keeping me awake tonight and praying for my son’s safety — not that I would ever stop praying for my son’s safety even if you did communicate with me?
    What if Ryan actually researched a communication solution, found out exactly what equipment was needed and let his mother know what it was and how much $$ it cost and what if his mother bought it for him and also sent him some extra cash so he could …

    I miss you Ryan, and I am going to continue playing the what if game.

    What if Ryan is safe and well and sleeping peacefully under a beautiful and calm night sky while he is letting his sopping wet cell phone battery dry out because it fell into the water today and that is why he couldn’t call me? What if I could go back to sleep now knowing that he is strong, smart and always prepared with the art of anticipation as he journeys down the great Mississippi? What if I acknowledge and remember that Ryan is always in God’s Hands and surrounded by God’s Pure Light at all times? What if I breathe in God’s Knowing that all is well with my son Ryan? What if I let go of the worry and believe the very best for my son, Ryan? What if my son Ryan always knows that he is dearly loved by his mother forever? What if I go back to sleep and dream of Ryan paddling down the Mississippi in a sturdy (with the latest technology)non-inflatable kayak? What if Ryan meets the girl of his dreams and they fall in love and they get married and have 4 children and they all go kayaking together? What if Dad build Ryan and Kayak Cradle for his children? What if Ryan invents a kayak for horses? What if it is time to go back to bed because this is getting ridiculous?
    Goodnight, my Ryan, wherever you are:

    The Light of God surrounds You,
    The Love of God enfolds You,
    The Power of God protects You,
    The Presence of God watch over You,
    Wherever You are, God Is, and All Is Well,
    Thank you Father-Mother God,

    I love you, my Son.

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